A Letter to Mothers who have Sons
Dear Mothers to Sons of the Next Generation,
We have such an important responsibility towards our sons and their future families...
Because every woman wants an ideal husband and every man wants to be that ideal husband. But, to get that ideal husband or to become that ideal husband, we as mothers have the duty to nurture and raise them to be those men. However, we get so caught up trying to raise perfect wives that we forget we need to raise perfect husbands, as well.
There are so many things we need to teach our sons, for example:
We need to teach them the responsibility of helping around their home so they can live in a clean environment and that duty does not solely belong to the women.
We need to teach them to respect and understand women's emotions, thoughts and needs. To take a moment and think when their wife, mother or sister is upset to simply just hold them, listen and show you're there.
We need to teach them to maintain their temper and to not get hot-headed as this can lead to things being said which aren't meant and we all know women are like elephants - they never forget.
We need to teach them that raising children is a dual-responsibility and a child needs the father figure around more than they think and it isn't all about working from 7am to 7pm by missing their child growing up, especially for the first fourteen years of their lives.
We need to teach them to love their sisters so deeply that if they were to behave in such a disrespectful way towards a woman, that they would be disgusted in themselves. They would never want a man to speak or touch their sisters in the same way. They would need to understand if that behaviour is not acceptable for their sister, why would it be acceptable for their wife? Is their wife not a sister to someone?
We need to teach them to appreciate women in general. They need to understand they would not be in this world if it wasn't for a woman, that in Islam the status of a woman is so high that if a man makes a woman shed a single tear, he will be held responsible for every single drop. That Jannah is at the feet of his mother and his children's Jannah will be at the feet of his wife's. If Allah has bestowed such a high ranking to women, should men not be fearful towards Allah in their conduct towards a woman who is so high in status?
These are a few of the things we should be teaching and nurturing to our son's as they grow up. So they can be that ideal husband for your future daughter in law. So they can be the ideal father for your grandchildren. And, so you can look at them proudly and tell people you raised him right.
We are the mothers for the next generation. It our duty to raise good men. It is our duty to not have our future daughter-in-laws dislike us, in a nutshell.
Love to all you mumma's - we're doing a good job because it really isn't easy, is it?
P.S. If you could make chefs out of them as well, that would be great! Teach them how to make that dish they love you making. So, they can teach their wives and children to make as well and keep your recipe within the family, insha'Allah.